Sometimes You Are Just In The “In Between”

I’ve been playing the sport of Pickleball for about four months now. Not sure just yet if I’m hooked, if I’m being deceived, or if it is just for the fun of it. The sport has been reflecting so much of who I am right back to me. So much of what is going on in my life right now and what I am wanting to work on personally.

So, what I meant by I don’t know if I’m hooked yet, being deceived, or it’s just for fun, is this; I feel like I might be hooked because I want to play just about every day. If it wasn’t wise for me to also take some rest and let my body recover at some point, I probably would.

The might part of being hooked is because it just so happens, that I have total freedom with my schedule. I guess, in the end, we all really do we just don’t think or believe we do. We gave that perspective up many moons ago or at least most of us. But since I am in this “in-between” place, which we will get into a little later, is it just the free time that allows me to be hooked, or do I really want to be hooked?

Then comes the deception part, which also ties into the hooked part. The game of Pickleball is so accessible it is a little deceiving. I have played professional baseball, barely. I have coached professional baseball, greatly. I have some idea of what it takes to be a professional athlete. But in Pickleball, the court is truly the great equalizer. I tell people it’s like an oversized ping-pong table but on the ground. Or how about this one; you remember that scene in the movie “Big” where Tom Hanks dances on top of a piano that is laid out on the floor? It’s kind of like that. This allows all sorts of ages, sizes, athletic abilities, and all walks of life to engage in Pickleball. You don’t need to be the strongest, the fastest, the tallest, or whatever else you think would remove you from the list of inclusion. You simply need a paddle, a ball, and a willing body. Long story short, this game is quite accessible.

The other thing is you see pros often in and out of where you play each day. None of this is happening that often in Football, Baseball, Basketball, Soccer, or any other major sport. You don’t play alongside of Mike Trout or LeBron James. You don’t train alongside Tom Brady or Cristiano Ronaldo. In Pickleball, it could happen. Last week I played a game alongside two professional women as they were training with another professional man. A couple of days ago I played against a National Champion in doubles open play. The point I’m trying to make here is that it is hard to judge this sport because it is a sport that anyone and everyone could play. And so, as a former pro athlete, I often think to myself, “could I eventually be a pro? How long would that take? Who could I train with?”

The just-for-fun part of this deal is that the game IS super fun. It’s fast, it can be intense, it moves along quickly, and you can do it with friends and family, or come alone at open play times. Lots of options to have fun, which then takes me right back to, am I hooked? Could I be a pro at this at some point? And round and round we go.

Okay, so how does any of this tie into this whole “in-between” space?

I’m 44 years of age now. During that period of time, I spent 38 years either playing, coaching, or consulting in baseball. Almost 20 of those 38 years were in professional baseball. In 2019 I was let go by the Los Angeles Angels after one year of a three-year contract to be their Major League Pitching Coach. When that happened, I chose not to go back. I just couldn’t. There were reasons to stay and there were reasons to go. Ultimately, it just felt better at the time to step away, so I did. That’s where the “in-between” comes into this story. I’m in this “in-between” area of bridging this gap from MLB to whatever the next long-term venture is for me. Not sure exactly what that is yet. I have been dabbling in plenty of things, Entrepreneurship, poetry, writing, consulting, and different aspects of coaching. Sure, you can call it non-committal, you can call it fear, you can call it not wanting to make a mistake, you can call it whatever you want, I call it being “in-between”.

So, here’s my analogy and that’s where Pickleball kicks back in.

Pickleball has all sorts of levels; 3.0, 3.5, 4.0, 4.5, 5.0, and Pro. For me, I started four months ago and probably was not even a 3.0. Now I’m in this 3.5 to maybe 4.0 range (on a good day). A range or place where I’m okay, solid for four months of play, but not good enough yet to compete with the 4.5s and 5.0s on the way to Pro. This means most of the 4.5s or 5.0s do not want to play against me. Not that they are ignoring me or bullying me or spitting in my face or anything like that, it’s just not as fun for them. I’m being challenged and seeing things I know I need to see to get better, so it’s awesome for me, but not as much fun for them. And I totally get that. So, here I am in this “in-between” stage where I’m good enough to be on the court with a higher level of player (where I want to be), but not good enough to make it a consistent quality of challenge for them just yet. I will be, that’s certain, that’s for sure, I know that with all my being. Not sure how long it will take, but I know it will happen.

So, that’s where I lie, “in-between”. It’s not a bad thing. It’s not a good thing. It’s not a right thing. It’s not a wrong thing. It’s just where I am traveling through on my way to that SOME-thing.

There are lots of people going through lots of adjustments these days. Lots of realizations on how people want to live their lives moving forward. I wrote this not to jump on the pity party, but to perhaps assist someone (mostly myself) in changing their perspective as they go through some transitioning, some shifting in their life. Sometimes you just can’t jump the bridge in one single bound. Sometimes you have to be “in-between” and make those little steps each day in the direction you want to go. It could be painful. It could be frustrating. It could be annoying. Sometimes even downright depressing. Then doesn’t that mean, in this world of duality, that it could also be stimulating, fulfilling, exciting, and even downright fun?

I’m not saying this time in my life hasn’t come with some struggle, but what I am also saying is it’s also coming with a whole lot of growth, realization, and change. Change for my benefit, change for the benefit of my life moving forward. I’m doing the best I can to remember things are happening for me, not to me. I have my own built-in navigation system, my emotions, and the better I treat myself in this “in-between”, the more fun I will have along the way. Shoot, I just may wake up one day and realize I was never really “in-between” after all, I was just heading down my pathway of the journey we call life.